Just in case i catch a cold. is a tumblelog.

I knew this ginger girl (I know I know) really well from a very young age - even since before grade school she and I were best friends. I had what could only be described as a huge crush on her, but I didn’t tell her anything. Her sister, who was a few years older, and really fucking annoying when she hung out with us, probably knew which is why she was such a bitch all the time. That, or because I was poor.
Anyways, we went to the same school and over the years we started drifting apart as we went through school. She was top at everything, smart, hot, and had all the boys falling over her - despite her ginger status. I was friends with a more alt-crowd (you know, wore black all the time, etc). We stayed best friends, but her other friends were more snobby about it and thought I was a bad influence on her.
Looking back on it, I was definitely an anti-social asshole during those years, but hey - I was poor, my parents were semi-abusive when they weren’t fighting with each other, and I had a massive chip on my shoulder. But she and I were still best friends and talked all the time, and I think she started to suspect I had a crush on her but she didn’t say anything to spare my feelings (Redditors will say I got friend-zoned, but hey - I never went for it because I knew how it would end).
Anyways, one day I got into a fight with this jock and his friends and it ended up with me laid out and people laughing (as these fights often did). My best friend - this girl - comes over and starts telling people off. But I’m so embarrassed that as I get up I start insulting everyone around me, including her. I was pretty nasty to everyone, but to her in particular, probably because of my teenage angst. I said some things that made everyone around us gasp - and they were definitely the most hurtful things I’ve said in my life.
I just wanted to lash out and hurt someone, but that was pretty much the end of our friendship right there. I am pretty sure that if I had been more normal as a child or had not been such an asshole and hung out with such assholes as a teenager, I could have had a shot with her.
Only a few short years later, Lord Voldemort killed her.